Protecting Our Children

I have to admit I'm proud of my Southern Baptist Convention for the recent special report they included in the SBC Life: Journal of the Southern Baptist Convention, June/July2008.

I very much think sexual abuse and inappropriateness happens way more than any of us care to admit. The very thought of someone abusing my child or any child for that matter within the church family makes my stomach turn. However, we can not pass off this feeling with a false security that this criminal behavior doesn't occur within my church.

What do we do to protect our children? Many, including myself, talk to our children about inappropriate touching, talking to a trusted adult if that occurs, so on and so on. I started this education with my children from the moment they could utter their favorite word "no".

But sexual abuse is a very confusing and frightful situation for children and adults alike. No matter how much you promise your children that it is not their fault or that they can talk to you about anything, being sexually abused imposes and burdens children with shame, fear, and embarrassment.

And if the demoralization of the child is not enough, many perpetrators make threats to their victims out of fear that the child will report the abuse to a parent or trusted adult.

So what do we do to protect our children?

1. Be vigilant. Make unannounced visits to your child's Sunday School or their other small groups. If you are like our family on Sunday morning, you already have three other places you need to be by 9:00 and the first thing you do is drop your child off to their class. Try to wait until both teachers are in the room before dropping off, or at least two children are in the room with the teacher before scurrying off. Escort your children to the bathroom during worship services.

2. Talk to your children. It's difficult to find the balance between fear and education, but let them know that even the most friendly and nicest people can hurt them. Instead of encouraging "tattling" on the perpetrator, which is a action we discourage among youngsters, I have told my children, if bad touching or other uncomfortable behavior happens, let me know and I will make it stop. Put the emphasis on their protection and comfort rather than their actions of "getting the perpetrator in trouble".

3. Trust your "gut" feelings. If you feel uncomfortable around a specific person, teacher, caregiver, there is usually more to your troubling feelings than just a hunch. I'm not encouraging you to call that person out as a potential perpetrator, but increase your level of vigilance. I once heard a statistic that most sexual abusers spend 3-4 YEARS "grooming" their victim, that is developing a trusting relationship, before even touching them once inappropriately. So just because you've known Jim or Jane or Jack for five years does not mean that he or she is not capable of abusing your child.

These are just a few simple steps in helping to preventing a terrible situation among your church family. Check out the Protecting Our Children Report for great articles information and recommendations regarding the protection of our most valuable blessings.