Midlife Crisis Day 7

Midlife Crisis at 30
pg 148

Marcia Kilgore
Founder of Blissworld

Working so many hours over the past seven years could have become a really big personal problem. I think that a lot of ambitious women spend too much time on their careers at the risk of losing sight of any kind of balance. When you work constantly, you can start to think, "if I'm not spending my time doing something that is productive, it's not time well spent". It's easy to slide into a rut where you do lose touch with the small pleasures of life. If you can't come out of it, you can end up really lonely.

I stay very focused while I work - I don't chat, I don't take personal calls, and I don't daydream. My workday might be intense, but it's a little shorter, and when I go home, I don't feel that gravitational pull back to my computer. I try not to take work calls or get distracted when I'm spending time with my husband. I try to remember how important it is to our marriage that I am present when we are together.

I often see couples eating dinner together without speaking a word, and I made a pact with myself to keep things interesting so we would never be strapped for something to talk about. Now, when my workday is over, I spend 20 minutes scanning some news Web sites so we always have something fresh to discuss at dinner. People wonder why their relationships don't work, but they don't realize that it takes effort to keep it interesting. If I'm going to spend 10 hour a day making an effort to improve my capabilities at work, why wouldn't I spend at least half an hour making an effort to improve my relationship? You can't be interesting unless you're interested, and if your relationship is more important to you than your job, you shouldn't take it for granted.