Mortal Obsession

Parker has a new found obsession - talking about death and dying. Yesterday, I snapped a picture of him, "buried in the ground, in his box". He has asked us lots of questions such as, "when I'm one hundred, will I die"; "Do you know how you will die?"; "Will God come down and get me when I die and take me to heaven?"

My friend Shannon reported that her 5-year-old daughter, Avery, and Parker had a deep theological conversation regarding the ascension to heaven and whether one could take a "visit" to heaven. We chuckled over their insight but isn't it amazing how early we begin the reconginition of our own mortality.

One might think this grim subject odd for a boy of five but unfortunately we've had several discussions and experiences with death in his short five years. Many of you know that Devon's mom passed away on the eve of Parker's 3rd birthday. We were very honest and open with both Jessalyn and Parker regarding Meme's passing. Since she had hospice, she passed on peacefully at home. The kids both came in after she was nicely presented and said good bye and gave her one last kiss. For the next five days, Parker carried a framed 5x7 photo of him and meme, asking Devon to go get her from Heaven.

The permanency of death was more realized for Parker when a year and a half later my dad succombed to cancer. The emotional aspects of death preoccupied our son as he talked about his sadness and his missing papa. Unlike the passing of his meme, he knew papa would not be coming back.

We do our best to honestly answer all of Parker's questions. I believe that his consuming questions and curiousity are a terrific gateway to one day his accepting God's salvation. I won't lie, it's not easy answering some of his questions. My own mortality does not cause near the anxiey than that of the idea of my children's. Parker asked the other day, when am I going to die? Could I die today or tomorrow? That's a hard one to answer honestly. You want to say, let's not think abou that or no, that's not going to happen.

Two books that I have read to my children are great to tie up some those questions but are also great conversation starters with your children.

My mom bought Evelyn Roberts 1979 children's book, Heaven Has A Floor. I don't remember when my mom bought it or because of what occasion, but I always remember having it. It still is in perfect condition even though it has become one of my kids favorite reads at her house.

Warren Hanson's The Next Place was introduced to me by my dear friend, Shannon. Unlike Heaven Has A Floor which provides a very concrete picture of Heaven, The Next Place provides a very abstract artful picture of our life in that infamous next place. Jesslayn enjoys this book very much.

I don't suggest that you use a book or video or song to replace meaningful conversation with your children on death. Use them when your child begins to ask questions or as conversation starters.

I suppose this is one of those not so fun aspects of parenting that we all must encounter. I'll be much relieved when Parker is back to his boyish obsessions of dinosaurs, bugs and his new scooter. :)

Cheers to you and your children and the many fascinating verbal journies they will lead you on!