
I turned back to the other moms to rejoin the conversation. One of the moms is looking at me in awe. She all but had her jaw hanging down. She looked at me and in disbelief says, you said 'no'. I steal a quick glance at my friend she's smiling because she knows me all too well. In my own sense of disbelief at this mom's reaction, I give a drawn out "yes...". I didn't know I could do that, she responds. Well, of course you can, I say. You are the mom. I'm not responsible for toting around my 7 year olds belongings.
Last night I was recalling the party conversation, as my son is asking me to get him more root beer during dinner. I said, get up and pour you another glass. I thought, do I make my children do too much. They don't fix the dinner, they don't drive to the party, they don't buy dinner or party presents, or really any household duties whatsoever. I think in the least, they can hold their own goody bag or pour their own drink.
I still chuckle and even sadly sympathize for the mom who thought she had to do it all. No wonder we are so stressed out as moms. My sitter often takes Parker to the store for errands. She said the other day, he always does so well when we just "look" at toys. He never gets upset that he can't have one. I think it's okay to tell your children, no. And give an explanation why. I'm sorry, we can't buy that toy right now, it costs $20 and we only have $40 and it has to be spent on groceries today. Jessalyn, my seven year old, gets this even more. I don't think they feel disadvantaged. I believe it's a way to teach them fiscal responsibility.
As far as household responsibilities, I don't go crazy making them do laundry or dishes or even make their beds (hey if I don't make mine, why should they make theirs?). But when I fold clothes, they have to put them away. When dinner is over, they clean their own plates and put them in the sink. If they want a snack, they ask and then get it themselves. They even make their own sandwiches now, which is totally awesome.
Devon, my husband, has some issues with this, like what if they don't put their clothes in the right drawer, or what if they spill the rootbeer bottle. My response, they clean it up. I make messes too and I have to clean up after myself, ie. this morning I spilt my entire, freaking 24 oz of pop right in my lap just as I pulled up to work, thank God I have on black scrub pants.
Some times I wonder if I'm just lazy, but I don't think so, I'm sticking with the theory of modeling self efficacy right now. Hope this helps some of you as you look for ways to allow your children to be more independent and reduce your stress load a bit. Have a wonderful Wednesday!
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